(Anna) 9.07 pm EST

BREAKING NEWS: JAN IS ACTUALLY ELI IN DISGUISE
The latest Dispatch posts by Jan seemed too good to be true. Well-written, witty, clever; Jan was finally managing to hold her own in the pillow fight between us. This is in utter contrast to conversations with her earlier in the afternoon, where she made faux-sexual-innuendo comments that actually made no sense. It seemed that Jan was finally learning how to make sense.

But everything made an eerie kind of sense when investigative reporting turned up a rather startling fact: Jan is not, in fact, Jan.

My friends, we have all been lied to. Eli is not on some flight travelling home. He is in fact here with us today, posting as Jan, to cover for her unexplained absence. A shoddy alibi, if I may say so myself.

How was this devious scheme uncovered? Well, the fake-Jan was found with a battered old copy of Twilight, a copy that pre-dates the entire sparkly-vampire craze. Prior documentation reveals that Eli was the one to have read Twilight in the before-times, thus proving that fake-Jan is, in fact, Eli.

So where is the real Jan? Sources report that she was last spotted wearing an “Bipeds turn me on” tshirt as she got into a dustrunner pirate ship, her bag overflowing with suspicious-looking vitamin pills.

Friends, today is a sad day for us all. Let us bow our heads in memory of Jan – the girl that was.

STORY-RELATED NEWS:

Some pearls of wisdom from behind-the-scenes:

mjgolli: Ahh, the misunderstood tapeworm. All it wants to do is help people lose weight…
Rok: Tapeworms are soooo 1940s…. today, dvdworms are all the rage.

On to the business side of things, the outline:

Darvey catches up with Aphid, argues he needs to go on the mission with Jyi. Admits it’s just so he can die faster, and she agrees, curious about his mental state. She’s interested in bipeds. Also, if he dies today, she wins the bet.
He learns about why everyone seems to have such strange names, about flaws in the translator. Given some examples of known deficiencies like [FREAKY WORDS]. He can file corrections through most terminals.
He hears about the atmosphere at the spaceport he’s going to, how the {Rok: [WEIRD COLOR]} sun is so strong and the atmosphere is so flimsy that he’ll need full-body cover to avoid burning. Also helps him not stand out, so he can pretend to be a variety of races without it being obvious. Finds out last human on their team was very sensitive to the fact that he burned [HUMAN BODY PART] really badly on a similar outing. Aphid thought it looked cute.
She shows him the tracer they’ll install on the ship. He asks about scanning the ships, to see when people sneak on. She explains that at a spaceport, lots of people come and go… and once the ship is in the air, it’s a waste of resources to constantly check the whole ship. She checks the Derra at his request, finds no stowaways, just [SIMPLE LIFE FORM].
Aphid is very curious about Darvey. She is interested in bipeds, but now he realizes she’s really interested. Already slept with Kaps, but it wasn’t satisfying, and now working with him is awkward. Offers to show Darvey her video of the encounter, but he declines, runs off to see them crack the atmosphere. {Rok: In the distance, two [SPACE OBJECT] collide, making for a once-in-a-lifetime spectacle.}

Pretty impressive how well MCM is sticking to the outline so far, although I didn’t spot the [simple life form] bit – maybe I just read too quickly?

And yes, the kinkyness. Aphid likes bipeds. Do you?

(JAN 21.19 pm)

Alas. It’s a strange world if people can’t trust their friends anymore. It is a sad world when friends are struck by insanity. I am struck with grieve that Anna seems to be suffering from a chicken pox variant og the H1N1 string. Which makes for a lot of animals on one little girl. I am very sad that it has come to this day that I now have to declare my friend non-sensical. It is after very obvious I am indeed a girl. And since it is widely known that Eli is of the male variety, her statements cannot be bare any truths whatsoever. Also, would anyone believ Eli, the mastermind behind Novelr, would like Twilight?

But I digress. Anna’s health is now a matter of national healthcare. Alas she starts biting herself when we close down her internetconnection, so we leave her be, with her insanity as company, in peace.

So excuse us for all the uncalled for interventions, we will now focus on the #2D1D event again.

Biped loving insectoids are fun! I want to be able to work on my pheromones too. Also, the next chapter is the last. So stay tuned!!!