(Jan 17.13 PDT / 2.13 in the night CEST)

I’m starting to die. MCM probably is too. Nancy went to do housework. Anna is still disconnected, and now probably sound a sleep. It’s slightly boring here at the backstage, since it’s kinda quiet. MCM also disappeared a bit. But he’s still appearing online, so I’m not that worried. All in all, it has been quite the uneventful livewriting event so far. No sudden cello recitals, no servers crashing. Everything is going fine. Maybe a bit too fine. Let’s all hold wood.

At the other hand, MCM is suffering from allergies, and the medicines are making him sluggish. I wonder if he ripples when he nods too. Didn’t you love that image? I know I did. Speaking of images, while waiting for the next chapter I was checking out some games on Kongregate. I made a Dino and called it MCM.

I think pink suits MCM's character

Don’t you love it? I know I do!

I have been slagging with updating here, and now I have to comment on 4 chapters in a row. It was a mix of being tired, alone and distraction I think. I’ll try to better from now on. Though I am getting awfully tired, and won’t stick around until 7 this time. If I’d do that I wouldn’t be feeling top notch enough for tomorrow. And I need to feel good tomorrow.

On to my thoughts on the chapters. It’s going to be a loooong Dispatch!

Chapter 20

Darvey and Kaps arrive at the apartment building, argue with homicide cops. Jurisdiction is a bitch. Last time they dealt with CSA, they got brought out for [DINNER] and [ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE]. Darvey snarky. They want a bribe to let them onto the scene before forensics shows up. Darvey tries to play the Centaurian card. They don’t buy it: his eyes are the wrong colour. Poop. Kaps says his race can do something useful: break open skulls. They get upstairs.

The place is torn apart like [horse]’s. A [PLANT] seems to have grown in from the window and is making itself at home in the kitchen. They find the victim half-buried in closet, shot to bits. Money all over the ground. Face is mostly missing, but they can tell from the species that it’s not the CSA agent. They find a tattoo on the arm, and Kaps realizes it’s [bird]. What is [bird] doing at a CSA agent’s place? And why is there money everywhere? Same kind of weapon used on him as [horse], which means someone must have thought [bird] WAS a snitch, and is taking him out. Also means he’s not in charge of anything, and whoever IS in charge is being extremely thorough in cleaning house… he’s killing anyone even remotely suspicious.

This makes things doubly-dangerous for Jyi. They need to help make her look like she’s DEFINITELY not on their side. Darvey looks up her personnel photo with Kaps’ help. Goes to the homicide cops, tells them the dead guy is [FAMOUS HISTORICAL FIGURE], and he WAS one of theirs. Keep it quiet until they can notify the family. They agree. He shows them Jyi’s pic. This is who we think did it. A tweaker. Nasty. We need her alive for questioning. Kaps wants to know what he’s doing. He says “making sure everyone knows how much we hate her.”

My initial thought here was that Darvey just made the most capital mistake ever. I also thought that KAPS was really cool in this one. HE’s all fatherly playing the BFG (Big Friendly Giant), and the BAM, punching them in the face, 2 KO’s in one punch. Excellent. I really like the dynamics between the two of them too. They even each other out.

Chapter 21

Darvey and Kaps arrive at dive bar in area Kaps says lots of Damascus people used to hang out. Notorious for bad drinks, bad people. Bob’s Bar. Horrible music playing, like a mashup of [SINGER] and [STYLE OF MUSIC]. Enough to make you crazy.

Darvey notices the guy in the corner who looks nervous at the badge and guns. Goes over, starts putting pressure on… he knows this guy was seen with Jyi. She’s in a lot of trouble, and so is he. Guy is on the verge of a nervous breakdown when his friends step in, ready to beat Darvey up. He says it’ll take more than [NUMBER] of them, especially with his [SCI FI TECH]. They get a bit nervous at this.

He offers them reward if they rat her out. [NUMBER] credits, cash, no questions asked. She’s skipped bail and killed a CSA agent in cold blood. Nobody’s seen her? Nobody? One guy says she was down by the shipyards last week, turning tricks. Darvey says he’ll check it out, and if it’s good, the guy gets his reward. Guy argues that no questions would be asked. Darvey says it’s not a question, it’s verification. If it’s bad intel, he’ll skip it, so speak now. The guy says it’s good intel.

Darvey and Kaps leave. Kaps doesn’t want to go to the shipyards, since they KNOW Jyi wasn’t there. Darvey says they need to, because a) they don’t look like they’re seriously hunting her if they don’t follow leads, and b) he has a feeling they’re going to get ambushed when they arrive. And the ambushers probably know something interesting.

After reading this one, that is after I recovered from my laughing fir with the rippling slug image, I thought Darvey might be a hidden genius. You have to admit that last move was brilliantly wicked. I asked MCM when Darvey became so smart, and he said he always was. I rethought and decided that he was stupid and risky, but that his logic was brilliant. MCM said that he’d turn into his own cranky self soon again. I predicted that there wouldn’t be an ambush waiting for them… And then, chapter 22 arrived.

Chapter 22

At the shipyards, nobody’s around. And it’s the middle of the day. Bad sign. Darvey and Kaps get ready for anything. Some of the ships look better than the Derra, and Darvey asks if they ever get to trade up. Kaps is partial to his ship, says he wouldn’t trade her for anything. Darvey laughs at ships named [MOVIE STAR] [POLITICIAN] and [GASTROINTESTINAL PROBLEM].

They get ready to go home and run into Caffo. He has bugs in the bar, overheard them, wants to know who they’re following. They grudgingly show him Jyi’s photo. He knows her, of course. She’s not a fugitive… what the hell are they playing at?

Darvey won’t say wants Caffo to share some actual info about the Damascus revival in town. Caffo threatens to broadcast who Jyi really is unless they tell him about Jyi. Darvey says Jyi is following a lead, but they won’t know what it is or where she is. Kaps unhappy that Darvey is revealing anything.

Caffo agrees with Darvey this is the way to go. Damascus is dangerous, and if they suspect Jyi, she’s toast. He’ll put a APB out on Jyi too, say she was with [bird] when he died, just to sell it.

Caffo gets a call. Something’s up. Gotta run. Wishes them luck and takes off. Kaps is happy about the encounter, but Darvey thinks this means Caffo is working for Damascus: as far as the cops know, [bird] is a dead CSA agent. Nobody should know his true identity but them.

And turned out I was right! Though, when they recognized Caffo somewhere midchapter I yelled “He’s SOOOOO one of the bad guys” at my screen. And at least Darvey seems to agree with me. Though, since we’re not that far over the middle of the story, I’m assuming MCM is just playing with us. And Caffo will turn out to be one of the good guys. At the other hand, MCM might be suspecting we think like that, and make him first good, and then bad again! Ahh reverse psychology predicting, it can drive one mad…

***

In the mean time (it’s now 18.09 PDT, and 3.09 in the night here), MCM has come online, and talked a bit. He absolutely LOVED the dino, and Pink is his ABSOLUTE FAVORITE COLOR EVER. Naaah. Just kidding, though he did like the dino . He’s taking a nap now, because he feels the quality will decrease if he keeps writing while he feels this bad. He urged me to go to bed, but I don’t really feel like it yet. I’m worried he’ll be all alone, and that there will be no one their to watch his demise.

That and I’ve drunk loads of coke. My body is dead tired, it’s even starting to ache at strange places, but my mind is still very, very active. So I might do a goodnight everyone video post, or something similar to really call it a night. I probably won’t make it until the next chapter though.

So in case I don’t see you guys until tomorrow, good night, and keep posting those awesome answers.

(Nancy 3:19 PDT)

This is my first time dispatching.  Be gentle.

Now that my yard work is done (such is the exciting suburban life I lead), I’m back and caught up with TNR2.  Jyi shows off her fighting skills big time in chapters 18 and 19.  Her prowess with a waiter’s towel in chapter 18 was particularly impressive.  I mean, she kicked ass with fabric, for cryin’ out loud.

That reminded me of the scene in one of the Bourne movies where Jason kicked some guy’s ass with a magazine.  I think we should have MCM write in a Bourne-like character.  Not-quite-Bourne can face off with Jyi in, say, a yarn store.  It’s a fight to the death, but knitting needles are off limits as weapons.  That’s too easy.  Who’d win?  WE NEED TO KNOW.

(JAN 14.32 PDT)

I don’t feel like typing for a moment, because my finger still hurts like crazy from smashing it with the door yesterday. So small video dispatch instead. Outlines for chapter 18 and 19 below

Jyi gets downstairs, avoids guards, tries to eavesdrop… and then the place erupts with gunfire. Gets attacked from behind, loses the blaster she stole. Kills the attacker in hand-to-hand combat. She finds a [TOOL OF WAITER] and takes out two men who try and shoot her, recaptures her gun and stumbles upon [bird], who is critically hurt and dragging himself out of the lounge.

She pulls him into a safe area, talks to him. What happened? He talks about their fun times, wants to go back to that tree with her, that it was nice. Asks her if she has been to the restaurant [NAME OF RESTAURANT] down by the waterfront. She says no. He says there’s a waitress there that [ACCEPT OR IGNORE] him, and in the end, it made him [HAPPY OR SAD]. She asks him what happened in there. He dies before he can answer.

More bad guys are pouring into the building, getting into firefights with Tenzo’s men. A pair of baddies are creeping down the hall, backs to her, and she’s about to get them when she’s grabbed from behind and pushed against the wall. It’s Tenzo. He’s bleeding but alive. She’s going to help him escape, or he’s going to kill her.

Chapter 19

Jyi and Tenzo get out the back. Baddies everywhere. Jyi takes out [NUMBER] more guards without making a sound, gets them to the parkade. There’s a [NAME OF CAB COMPANY] cab across the street, but too many bad guys in between. Tenzo has a grenade… he’ll throw it into the crowd, it’ll explode to clear the way. Jyi convinced it’s not going to stop enough of them. They’ll be sitting ducks. Tenzo tells her to amplify amplify the fear and keep them stunned long enough for them to get through. Jyi says it’s going to be tough to do, and if she does, there’s a very good chance he’ll end up debilitated by fear too. She has to time it exactly right to hit the second everyone is freaked by the noise. He tells her to carry him.

She agrees, but right before Tenzo throws the grenade, she sees a family walking through the crowd as the bad guys search for them, guns ready. Jyi stops him from throwing it. He tells him to stay put, and she walks into the crowd, past the guys with guns, and gets next to the little girl [LITTLE GIRL CLOTHES] with the [CHILD’S TOY]. She asks to see it, keeping an eye on Tenzo, who looks worse for wear. The girl gives her to the toy, and Jyi compliments it. Bad guys are starting to search back around where Tenzo is.

Jyi throws the toy as far away as she can. The bad guys just about shoot it, and it sends the kid into fits of wailing. The mother grabs the kid and they rush off towards the toy as the bad guys are about to find Tenzo. Jyi nods to him, jumps behind a pillar, and he throws the grenade. The second it explodes, Jyi amplifies, and holds it as hard as she can. When she gets up, everyone left alive in the square is huddled in a ball on the ground, weeping.

She makes it over to Tenzo (who is also collapsed) and drags him across the street. She catches sight of the girl with the toy, she looks almost comatose. Jyi panics, and feels her control slipping. One of the bad guys sees her, starts to reach for her gun. She can’t do everything at once. She gets Tenzo to the cab, throws the driver onto the street, and gets in. The bad guy shoots at the cab, blows out the back window, and Jyi floors it, racing away.

Boy how I miss Anna already!

A stands for Awesome, and Awesome is Anna’s middle name.

She’s working on a secret surprise, and I just got to preview the beginning of it. It will blow up your head so hard you’ll join Pie in looking for the pieces. And MCM might collapse due to sheer hilarity.

It’s awesome, and you’ll get to see it here. Stay posted!

(JAN 11.43 PDT, 20.43 CEST)

Heya. MCM is doing nap right now, lets hope he didn’t forget to set his alarm clock. Napping time is used by NAncy to mow her lawn, I myself showered and ate, and feel almost ready to go for it for another night. I can’t believe it’s already evening, and that I’ve been at it for another 8 hours. Anna has dropped off the radar, so I think she feels to bad to be very active for a while. I hope she feels better soon. It does feel slightly lonely here now.

Also, the last 2 chapters were fairly short, so there isn’t that much to analyse and think about, even though the plot is thickening.

Wa_side found the Easter Egg, and normally should have been given special powers by now, but I’m not sure MCM got to it before his nap, since there were some minor bugs bugging the console. She will get her powers at one point though.

The outlines:

Jyi peeks out her door, sees a guard standing there, keeping her in.  She’s too high up to go out the window.  Down below, [NUMBER] cars pull up, and someone important is ushered in.  She checks the door again, sees the guard still standing, blocking her way.  She turns on some music, finds some really soothing stuff by a guy named [MUSICIAN NAME], turns it up loud.  She amplifies the guard’s relaxed state until he starts to nod off.  She opens the door, catches him, and lays him down inside her room.  She takes his gun and heads off, downstairs.

I think it’s nice how soon Darvey became loyal to his team. Jyi hasn’t been very nice to him, and yet he’s all loyal. I like him, he’s a good guy. I like JYI very much too, she especcially ROCKS in chapter 16 (outline below), but I don’t always sympathise with her. She’s awesome and kicks some serious ass, but she isn’t always nice. Yet I’m a huge fan of her. Because she’s sooooo cool. MCM often writes really cool females. Like Rache from typhoon. She kicked ass too.

Darvey isn’t going to wait around anymore.  He’s got to warn Jyi.  He’s told he can’t warn her, because she’s undercover.  Trying to get a message to her is going to get her killed for sure.  Darvey asks if they don’t have a secret panic word to warn their agents to get out?  Kaps says yeah, it’s [STRANGE WORD].  Try working that into casual conversation.

Lucas reports the CSA agent on-site [TYPE OF FLOWER] hasn’t checked in, and local police are investigating a homicide at his apartment building.  He is volunteering Darvey and Kaps as on-site liaisons, which is as close as they can get to getting involved.  Do not endanger Jyi, but see what else this turns up.

Darvey agrees, gets photo of agent on his pad.  About to leave, and Darvey not allowed a gun: given a sledge instead (for breaking down doors).  Kaps is in charge, and Darvey is support.  They get on the first civilian shuttle back to Panella, and told to check in OFTEN.  Darvey stuck next to a guy with [DISGUSTING AILMENT].

Anna returned from an unexpected nap and feels better. She’ll catch up with the chapters fast. YAYness all around.

Over and out

(JAN 9.something PDT)

Sooooo. I’m suffering from very dire livewriting circumstances here. My roommate’s boyfriend is seriously driving me mad. I’m to tired to cope with it properly. Lucky for me, MCM is all supportive, and promised to take virtual revenge for me. Which is extra fun, because the guy mocked my virtual activities and livewriting. Mocking livewriting is seriously very much not done around here. And it has consequences. It might even get your head exploded in space. Just sayin’.

Darvey at medical station. Aphid is stable, but as Kaps tells it, you know she’ll be better when she bounces back fast.  Until then, it’s touch and go.  Not out of the woods, but closer.  New doctors rush into her operating room.  They remember the funny things she’s done [AREA OF SHIP] [VEGETATION] [NUMBER].

Darvey is unhappy with the slow pace of the investigation.  Lucas seems to want to stall them at every opportunity, and Jyi isn’t really after the bomber, she’s doing her own thing.  The biggest annoyance are the rules.  On Earth, there are rules, but nothing near this bad.  [EARTH-BASED CRIME] Kaps says the rules keep everyone safe.  If you start breaking them, you end up like Caffo, and nobody wants to be seen near you again.

Lucas arrives with new info to explain the complexity of the Damascus situation: Papa Damascus is actually on trial right now (secret to protect proceedings) and witnesses are disappearing.  Case is in danger of unravelling.  Prosecutor is trying to coordinate with Panella police to keep people safe, but is running into resistance.  Suspects officials are being bribed.

Darvey looks at situation: either the assassin was trying to attack a CSA ship (unlikely, even for the Damascus cartel), or they still think Jyi is a snitch and were trying to have her killed.  So she has probably just walked straight into a trap…

I really liked this chapter. It’s connecting everything with eachother. And you have to admit, the whole Darvey/Aphid thing is strangely endearing. I love how he actually thinks it trough, and then thinks it through too far, and then thinks about why he finds that too far. Very fun.

Back to the dire circumstances. Besides the annoying people, the sun is shining in my eyes. Badly. Maybe I need sunglasses.

But I’m not the only one suffering. Anna is feeling slightly anaemic.

Anna: my arms feel like there is no blood circulating in them

That’s just scary, and I hope she feels better soon!

(Anna) 9:36 am PDT and yes, I feel blah
I don’t “feel” anaemic, I am. Only slightly, but some days it hits me harder than others. I’m curled up on the couch trying to keep my sugar levels up and stay awake. I post a picture like Jan did but I’m too lazy and also look a state. My tiredness also means live blogging and typing in general takes a lot of effort, which is sad because then Jan is left to carry the weight of it all. Sorry Jan.

Sunlight however is awesome. I love sunlight. I liked this chapter as well. The whole bit with the anecdote about that annoying boy called Pie was particularly awesome. I think Jan really liked that bit… two guesses as to why!

I think the story’s getting better now. The first few chapters didn’t pull me fully in, but these latest ones I’ve enjoyed quite a bit. I think the more sleep deprived MCM is, the less he overthinks his writing and goes with the flow, the better the story. Or at least that’s my theory so far!

Can you believe in 24 hours MCM has written 23,000 words? It’s crazy. And there’s still another 20+ chapters to go. I wish I had his hard-headed doggedness when it comes to writing. Sadly he’s a bit of a pansy when it comes to anything else.

Hey peopsles!

In case you missed the live broadcast, or if it screwed up like it did for me, you can go watch the excellent first livechat recording of today. MCM talks past drugs experience (REALLY), interesting character backstory and features, and he looks dead dead tired already.

He also has a seriously silly ringtone.

Enjoy!

(JAN 7.50 PDT)

Back from supplies shopping! Want to see my groceries list? I bought:

A bottle of Coke
A bottle of Gini
2 bags of Salt & Vinegar Chips/Crisps
Lime Icecream
An emergency Pizza
Cigarettes
A bottle of Rum to make dark & stormies. it is also for my Amanda Palmer preconcert party though

Now I’m back, I see that I totally forgot cookies. Lucky I still have some chocolate left from easter. No ramen because we don’t do that in Belgium, livewriting classic or no livewriting classic. Maybe we should make fish fingers the European livewriting classic. I’m sure Anna would agree with that.

On to the chapter. Jyi is really cool. It’s amazing how fast she went back to her undercover self. I’m a bit worried though, she seems to liek the drugs a tad too much, not easy to not make mistakes when you’re slightly high. I also think this must mean Kaps was stationed at Panella for a long time too, and that’s why he knew his way around so well. But Jyi really is the star of it all at the moment. She kicks soo much ass.

The outline:

Jyi brought up to her room, a cruddy room with windows wide open and vines growing inside.  [ODD FURNITURE] [CAGED PET] [HYGIENE PROBLEM]  Guard gives her her kilo, warns her not to do that kind of thing again.  Tenzo is under a lot of pressure, and people that push him can end up dead.  Jyi asks about [bird], and is told he’s still tweaking downstairs, and got another free hit thanks to Jyi’s performance.

Guard shows her the ice box, throws her a [FRUIT] to eat.  Aphrodisiac fruit.  Sneaky.  She eats it anyway.  He has one too.  These things are hard to get nowadays.  He tells her about life in the city now that imports are more heavily restricted: had a friend who was trying to import a [GIFT FOR CHILD] for his kid, and by the time it got through the red tape, it was basically useless.  She says they should try shipping through the forest.  Less guarding out there.  He says the government has taken to blowing up anything that looks like it’s shipping in or out of the forest.  Really bad idea.  She shrugs, says maybe for HIM…

The guard acknowledges that Jyi isn’t in to the group aspect of earlier, but maybe she’d be up for a little one-on-one.  She tells him last time she did that with a soft-brain, he spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair.  Though maybe it was worth it.  Guard finishes his fruit, gets very close, asks her if she’d like to risk it.  But she LIKES him, and if she killed him, who would she talk to?  She pushes her against the wall, and she puts a hand on his blaster.  Standoff.  She says she’s tired.  Maybe later.  He eventually backs off, says he’ll remember the “later” part.

Before he leaves, he says she has three hours and then Tenzo wants her back downstairs again.  She asks why not right away?  Tenzo’s seeing someone very important, and if she wants to stay alive, she’ll wait EXACTLY 3 hours, and then come downstairs.  Neither Tenzo nor his guest appreciate interruptions.

On a sidenote, MCM announced that there is a hidden Easter Egg around somewhere, and that the first one to find it (Dispatch crew excluded) will gain extra outline changing powers. So hunt hunt hunt!

And now he’ll be doing a 2nd livechat event. Go hurry up to: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/mcm1889ca

Bye!

(JAN 5.52 PDT / 14.52 CEST)

I LOVED this chapter. It’s for a silly reason, but it made me jump for joy. (Everybody sing a long!!!!)

“Last time you said that, you ripped my shirt,” she said. “And ripped my heart out too.”

Earlier, Anna and I were complaining that this wasn’t really a Romance unless some things happened, one of them being ripped clothes. Heaving bosoms was another one, and lucky for me, both those suggestions got picked. The ripped clothes one was a question that belonged to the Scarlet Lemming however, which the Console had randomly put in for a reason unknown. So the ripped clothes weren’t going to be entered. (The question I entered them for was a way to die, which explains the heart coming out too).

Since the questions didn’t belong to the chapter, MCM couldn’t put it in, but he promised he’d do it later and here we are. And I have to say, he put it in a perfect context. And even though the romance was faked, it was still perfect and slightly cheesy romance.

On to the outline!

Jyi thrown into a back room covered in alien blood.  [bird] argues that she’s cool, she’s not a traitor, she’s just been laying low.  Guard unconvinced.  Asks Jyi why nobody’s seen her for so long.  She says she hopped out into the forest, down to [LAST NAME] colony, been living among the naturalists for a while.  Good thing about it is the mushrooms make you [EUPHORIC STATE], but the bad news is the naturalists don’t want you to eat their entire crop all at once.  She came back to the city a few weeks ago, tried to get by on [OTHER DRUG] but it’s just not the same.  He asks what happened to her face.  Bad breakup with this [GUY/GIRL/OTHER] she owed money to.

Guard not convinced.  [bird] intervenes: why would she come back BEFORE the trial started?  Jyi doesn’t know what trial, but nobody listens to her.  [bird] pays the guard for himself and Jyi to make nice, and they’re let into the lounge and given a small dose.  [bird] takes it at once, but Jyi starts to fake it until she sees the guard is watching her.  Her hand is trembling, and the drug scares her, but she takes it anyway, enjoys her little trip.  The guard, happy, sneaks off.

Jyi takes one of the pills she has left, and her high goes away and gets replaced by a wicked headache.  She stumbles out, makes her way into one of the offices, starts going through things.  Computer is locked.  Sees a pic of a pair of [PET], remembers [cat] had a pair just like this.  Looks for ANYTHING else to tie him to the cartel.  Hears taking in the hall, tries to hide.  Footsteps leave, and she sneaks outside, down the hall, bumps into the guard.  He grabs her by the arm and carries her off, depositing her in front of Tenzo himself.

I love all the different drug stuff. I am slightly confused by all the animal references in the outline though, I don’t remember who the cat is and so on, but I’m sure it’ll all be clear once I am less tired. When I reread the Scarlet Lemming I found a couple of easter eggs that had totally escaped me when I first read it, so I’m sure that will happen with TNR2 too.

In the mean time we’re struggling to act properly awake in the backstage. MCM will be having breakfast soon, Anna and I need to buy supplies for the rest of the weekend, and we’re coordinating a bit. Some time passed since I first started this post, because another chapter was posted, and people rang at the door, and the sun is shining, and I am so very much tired.

So on the chapter 13 outline.

Tenzo greets Jyi, says he heard she came in.  Talks to her about [LIFE PROBLEM].  Jyi carefully treads the line between herself and the junkie.

Tenzo says he’s never met her, doesn’t think she’s a traitor, but he knows she’s Centaurian.  She can amplify emotions.  She stays quiet, lets him speak.  He has [NUMBER] girls on his staff whose job it is to pleasure him, but even with [drug] — which he seldom uses himself — it’s not that great an experience.  He wants more, and he thinks Jyi can help him with it.  [WATCH OR PLAY]  She warns him that when Centaurians mix it up with non-Centaurians like that, sometimes people end up in comas.  He agrees she should keep her clothes on.

Jyi goes into business mode.  She had a hit of [drug] before, but she wants more.  He’s agreeable.  How much?  [NUMBER] kilos.  And an apartment to keep it in, and she can be his booster slave for as long as he likes.  Oh, and money for [ARTICLE OF CLOTHING].  She hates the crap she has on now.  He wants to know what she’d do with # kilos… that’s a lot for one person, and makes him think she’s trying to be her own pusher, not user.  She says she’s been strung along with tiny hits before, and ends up getting screwed in the end.  # gives her stability and will keep her from straying.

Tenzo says nobody has that much [drug], certainly not to give it away.  He’ll give her 1 kilo, and if she does well, he’ll consider finding alternatives.  From what he hears, Centaurian boosting can be worth more than life itself, so it seems a fair trade.  Jyi tries to push for 2 kilos, but he says he could just as easily kill her and deal with never being truly happy.  Her choice.

She agrees, reluctantly, and the girls get led in.  Jyi warns the guard they should get out of the room… as good as it’ll be for Tenzo, the frustration of not being able to do the same will probably drive them mad.  She stands back and does her best to make them have the happiest time of their lives, while keeping an eye on the blaster Tenzo discards on the floor.

I was all excited that Tenzo’s problem was my piercing suggestion, but if he’s sooo covered in piercings he doesn’t have any place left on his body, shouldn’t she at least react to his strange sight when she first walks in? I know Jyi is tough, but jeez, she should at least have blinked. Or have hidden a smile or something. And when the orgy arrives (I still can’t stop laughing MCM threw in an Orgy, it’s soooo not like him. Though maybe his inner pervert is finally coming out. Everybody has an inner pervert after all.) So when the orgy arrives, there should have been some piercing interaction. Just sayin’.

(Anna) 4:43 am PDT and MCM is awake and writing

Why is he awake and writing at 5am? It’s midday here in London so that suits me just fine, but seriously. 5am? The only way I ever see that time is if I stay up all night.

So I woke up to find Chapters 9 to 11 up (I went to bed shortly after Chapter 8 was posted) and have been doing some catch up reading. Well first I did some catch up listening — did you see the previous dispatch video post where Jan was being all tired and silly?

You know what I just realized? Why isn’t there a comments section under each chapter? Isn’t that slightly weird?

Anyway, outline 1 of 3:

Chapter 9
Darvey rushes to Aphid’s side. She’s beat up, has two legs in danger of being amputated. Delicate conversation trends towards utter awkwardness [ORIFICE] [SMALL ANIMAL] [GELATINOUS SUBSTANCE] [TIMEFRAME] and eventually Darvey needs to be excused to avoid things getting too strange.

Jyi waiting outside, tells Darvey he needs to be debriefed on Damascus. She was undercover for almost a year, tracing through the org and building the case against Papa as part of a big CSA team. A lot of the gang slipped through, but few were smart enough to run things without major support. Panella doesn’t have the population to run a really big drug operation, especially when half the population gets better drugs for free. [TYPE OF MEDICATION] The big concern was Damascus spreading outside the planet… if they got too organized, there’d be little to stop them from making Panella free-labels the #1 choice for tweakers everywhere. Local biz wouldn’t argue because it was more profits. So cutting off their import supply was seen as key to stunting their growth. One of the key players there, [cat], was caught trying to bribe officials and Caffo convinced to turn against Papa. He got cold feet and ran away midway through the investigation, and Caffo broke a few too many rules trying to reel him back in, lost his job as a result.

Of all the people in Damascus, Jyi think [cat] is the best candidate to the new leader, because he has all the connections, the admin experience, and nobody ever connected him with the CSA case. Darvey asks about Tenzo, but Jyi isn’t sure. He was tough, but tough doesn’t run big orgs. Tough is help, not leadership.

Whoever killed [horse] and set the bomb on the Derra had to be part of that gang. Just not sure WHY. Declaring war on CSA is a good way to screw up your plans, which isn’t very smart. Something strange going on here. Darvey unsure about Brek, himself. trying to sell real estate to cops comes off a bit desperate. Asks Lucas to run Brek’s financials, see what’s what. Lucas says it will take some time, as Panella warrants are harder to obtain.

Jyi announces she’ll go back undercover, see if she can find a way to get to [cat], confirm he’s really the head guy now. Darvey worried about the plan: if [cat] was working with CSA, wouldn’t he be able to ID her? No, there are so many CSA there, she never saw [cat] in person. But even if she finds him, how will she know he’s got any power? Easy: like Caffo said, whoever is in charge has got to have access to a big stash of drugs, otherwise nobody would take them seriously. [drug] is really hard to come by, so whoever can spare the most of it is the one in charge.

Lucas says it’s too dangerous… Damascus has to know they’re CSA. She says she’ll go find her old contact, see if he thinks she’s trustworthy, and if so, she’ll proceed. Lucas not keen on the idea. CSA already has a plant on the planet, in organized crime, and if they bump heads, it could get messy. Jyi about to argue when alarms go off… Aphid’s flatlined!

Slight difference in the ending there — Lucas’ scene was cut short (the poor sod). But at least now we know for sure that the drugs storyline and Aphid’s sad dilemma are connected, so Darvey’s little adventure on Pandora Panella hasn’t been a waste of time.

Now in Chapter 11…. Well it kind of felt like an ER episode, no? I’m not good with surgeries and stuff so the beginning part made me feel a little queasy (or maybe it’s the hangover/lack of food combo). At least Aphid’s alive (for now)! But I can’t believe how careless Jyi seemed about it all. I’m sensing a deeper backstory here — why else would she be so revenge-focused?

Anyone else think that maybe Jyi was also jealous of all the attention Aphid was getting? Maybe there could be a love triangle between Darvey, Jyi and Aphid!! Da da da!!!!! Ha, I doubt it though. For claiming that this story is going to be a romance, MCM hasn’t included much of what you’d expect. He’s not really a romance author though so I don’t blame him.

Anywya, outline 2/3:

Chapter 10
Aphid has crashed. Shell closing up, which means it’s impossible to operate effectively. Can try and thread wires up through the veins in her blasted legs, but it could cripple her for life. Darvey decides [YES OR NO], and they proceed. [LIVE OR DIE] Barely get her stabilized, with Lucas needing to work on her constantly to keep her from crashing again. Kaps losing his cool, decks Jyi for wanting to talk about Damascus again. They need to get to a medical station fast!

Jyi says she needs to follow up on Damascus. Can’t leave it hanging. Darvey wants to go too, to avenge Aphid, but Jyi refuses to take him, says he’s too much of a liability. Lucas refuses to let anyone go until he’s called command for instructions. Kaps worried about Aphid, and Darvey realizes he’s starting to get really overly vengeful. Jyi is amplifying their emotions. He chases her, finds her in an escape pod. She says to behave himself and try not to die before she gets back. Ejects despite his attempts to stop her, and a second later, Kaps hits the boosters and the planet shrinks into the distance.

This outline was pretty different! I think it’s because (THANKFULLY) “live” was chosen instead of “die”. From the outline it seems like MCM had kind of planned for Aphid dying. Don’t you agree?

Chapter 11 introduces the first pov change which is pretty typical of MCM’s writing. I also really enjoyed this chapter. I like MCM’s female characters, they tend to be strong and intelligent, compared to his male characters who seem to be slightly plodding and dumb. Don’t you think? And it’s interesting to see her backstory, her falling into the old habits of being an undercover junkie.

I like to think that Jyi’s little quip about “sleep-deprived stapler compulsion” was inspired by yours truly. I won’t tell you why.

Outline 3/3:

Chapter 11
Jyi on the planet, trades her clothes for something more beat-up in the poor district. Face is tender from where Kaps hit her. Grits her teeth and throws herself into the rough edge of a building, checks the scrapes. She hops into a pawn shop and sells her blaster for a [NUMBER] hundred credits. Picks up a small amount of [STREET NAME OF DRUG] and dumps most of it into the gutter.

Stopped by big guys who obviously want to have their way with her. She asks them if they have any more [drug], and they say no, that’s not their game. They’re insistent, so she says sure, she’s game. They’re all vaccinated for [ALIEN DISEASE], right? Looks of shock. Er. No. And. Have to go now. Jyi picks their pockets, finds a small knife and a roll of credits. Carries on.

Slips into [TYPE OF BIRD]’s apartment building, tries the doorknob, and starts to pry the keypad off with the knife when it opens and [bird] is right there. He barely recognizes her, invites her in. He’s carrying a gun, doesn’t put it down. She asks if he has any [ALIEN DRINK NAME], but all he has is Malt. Discuss where she’s been. Laying low, trying to stay off the radar because people started disappearing all around her.

[bird] said he was worried about her. Thought they had something special. Remember that time at the top of [LAST NAME] tree, when the elevator shut down and the two of them were stuck up there, alone, with only a bag of [drug] between them and no food?

What’s she doing now? Who’s she working for? No one. Admits she’s a bit behind on things, trying to score a hit of [drug] if she can. That’s why she was trying to get into his place: he always had a stash underneath the sofa. He doesn’t anymore. Scarce commodity now, and you usually have to use it on-location. Nobody wants to risk resale. Dilutes the brand. What brand? Come and see.

Takes her to [NAME OF CLUB], slips in the back door, and stopped by a guard. Notes Jyi’s eyes. Checks names on the list. [bird] is good, and Jyi… Jyi is on the list too. Go in, see the action, the tweakers everywhere, the crazy live band called [BAND NAME], and a second later, Jyi has a gun to her head. Wait, says [bird], she’s on the list! Yeah, says the guard. But a DIFFERENT list: the traitor list.

DA DA DAAAAH!! This outline follows the actual chapter more closely than the previous one, I feel. And yet another cliffhanger! Clearly MCM is trying to drive us mad. I’ve my fingers crossed everything works out alright for Jyi as this chapter has made her my favourite character.

(Jan 5.24 am PDT)

We all woke up at the same time more or less, so that was fun. I didn’t get enough sleep, but MCM even got less, so I shouldn’t complain. I have coffee, and I made it extra, extra strong so I should be able to survive the day. My finger really hurts like crazy today. It’s strange because there’s nothing to be seen and I can move it just fine. But boy does it hurt.

I really liked these two chapters. I was counting on Anna not finding them snappy enough, but apparantly she likes them just fine. I on the other hand, have always liked some more elaborate prose, so I really like the longer chapters.

As for Jyi,I agree with Anna she can be a bit insensitive. As for Aphid, I’m SOOOOO relieved it was my LIFE that got picked. Really people, I don’t like to threaten, but killing off Aphid really is very much NOT DONE. I still haven’t forgoven Lyn for the no-sex disaster in the first 3D1D Typhoon, imagine how unforgiving and coming after you with a vengeance I will be if you kill of one of my favorite characters.

Though I have to admit Aphid is slightly less funny this time around, but she makes it up in endearingness.

On the the next chapter, which MCM has just posted. Weeehee!