(Anna) 4:43 am PDT and MCM is awake and writing

Why is he awake and writing at 5am? It’s midday here in London so that suits me just fine, but seriously. 5am? The only way I ever see that time is if I stay up all night.

So I woke up to find Chapters 9 to 11 up (I went to bed shortly after Chapter 8 was posted) and have been doing some catch up reading. Well first I did some catch up listening — did you see the previous dispatch video post where Jan was being all tired and silly?

You know what I just realized? Why isn’t there a comments section under each chapter? Isn’t that slightly weird?

Anyway, outline 1 of 3:

Chapter 9
Darvey rushes to Aphid’s side. She’s beat up, has two legs in danger of being amputated. Delicate conversation trends towards utter awkwardness [ORIFICE] [SMALL ANIMAL] [GELATINOUS SUBSTANCE] [TIMEFRAME] and eventually Darvey needs to be excused to avoid things getting too strange.

Jyi waiting outside, tells Darvey he needs to be debriefed on Damascus. She was undercover for almost a year, tracing through the org and building the case against Papa as part of a big CSA team. A lot of the gang slipped through, but few were smart enough to run things without major support. Panella doesn’t have the population to run a really big drug operation, especially when half the population gets better drugs for free. [TYPE OF MEDICATION] The big concern was Damascus spreading outside the planet… if they got too organized, there’d be little to stop them from making Panella free-labels the #1 choice for tweakers everywhere. Local biz wouldn’t argue because it was more profits. So cutting off their import supply was seen as key to stunting their growth. One of the key players there, [cat], was caught trying to bribe officials and Caffo convinced to turn against Papa. He got cold feet and ran away midway through the investigation, and Caffo broke a few too many rules trying to reel him back in, lost his job as a result.

Of all the people in Damascus, Jyi think [cat] is the best candidate to the new leader, because he has all the connections, the admin experience, and nobody ever connected him with the CSA case. Darvey asks about Tenzo, but Jyi isn’t sure. He was tough, but tough doesn’t run big orgs. Tough is help, not leadership.

Whoever killed [horse] and set the bomb on the Derra had to be part of that gang. Just not sure WHY. Declaring war on CSA is a good way to screw up your plans, which isn’t very smart. Something strange going on here. Darvey unsure about Brek, himself. trying to sell real estate to cops comes off a bit desperate. Asks Lucas to run Brek’s financials, see what’s what. Lucas says it will take some time, as Panella warrants are harder to obtain.

Jyi announces she’ll go back undercover, see if she can find a way to get to [cat], confirm he’s really the head guy now. Darvey worried about the plan: if [cat] was working with CSA, wouldn’t he be able to ID her? No, there are so many CSA there, she never saw [cat] in person. But even if she finds him, how will she know he’s got any power? Easy: like Caffo said, whoever is in charge has got to have access to a big stash of drugs, otherwise nobody would take them seriously. [drug] is really hard to come by, so whoever can spare the most of it is the one in charge.

Lucas says it’s too dangerous… Damascus has to know they’re CSA. She says she’ll go find her old contact, see if he thinks she’s trustworthy, and if so, she’ll proceed. Lucas not keen on the idea. CSA already has a plant on the planet, in organized crime, and if they bump heads, it could get messy. Jyi about to argue when alarms go off… Aphid’s flatlined!

Slight difference in the ending there — Lucas’ scene was cut short (the poor sod). But at least now we know for sure that the drugs storyline and Aphid’s sad dilemma are connected, so Darvey’s little adventure on Pandora Panella hasn’t been a waste of time.

Now in Chapter 11…. Well it kind of felt like an ER episode, no? I’m not good with surgeries and stuff so the beginning part made me feel a little queasy (or maybe it’s the hangover/lack of food combo). At least Aphid’s alive (for now)! But I can’t believe how careless Jyi seemed about it all. I’m sensing a deeper backstory here — why else would she be so revenge-focused?

Anyone else think that maybe Jyi was also jealous of all the attention Aphid was getting? Maybe there could be a love triangle between Darvey, Jyi and Aphid!! Da da da!!!!! Ha, I doubt it though. For claiming that this story is going to be a romance, MCM hasn’t included much of what you’d expect. He’s not really a romance author though so I don’t blame him.

Anywya, outline 2/3:

Chapter 10
Aphid has crashed. Shell closing up, which means it’s impossible to operate effectively. Can try and thread wires up through the veins in her blasted legs, but it could cripple her for life. Darvey decides [YES OR NO], and they proceed. [LIVE OR DIE] Barely get her stabilized, with Lucas needing to work on her constantly to keep her from crashing again. Kaps losing his cool, decks Jyi for wanting to talk about Damascus again. They need to get to a medical station fast!

Jyi says she needs to follow up on Damascus. Can’t leave it hanging. Darvey wants to go too, to avenge Aphid, but Jyi refuses to take him, says he’s too much of a liability. Lucas refuses to let anyone go until he’s called command for instructions. Kaps worried about Aphid, and Darvey realizes he’s starting to get really overly vengeful. Jyi is amplifying their emotions. He chases her, finds her in an escape pod. She says to behave himself and try not to die before she gets back. Ejects despite his attempts to stop her, and a second later, Kaps hits the boosters and the planet shrinks into the distance.

This outline was pretty different! I think it’s because (THANKFULLY) “live” was chosen instead of “die”. From the outline it seems like MCM had kind of planned for Aphid dying. Don’t you agree?

Chapter 11 introduces the first pov change which is pretty typical of MCM’s writing. I also really enjoyed this chapter. I like MCM’s female characters, they tend to be strong and intelligent, compared to his male characters who seem to be slightly plodding and dumb. Don’t you think? And it’s interesting to see her backstory, her falling into the old habits of being an undercover junkie.

I like to think that Jyi’s little quip about “sleep-deprived stapler compulsion” was inspired by yours truly. I won’t tell you why.

Outline 3/3:

Chapter 11
Jyi on the planet, trades her clothes for something more beat-up in the poor district. Face is tender from where Kaps hit her. Grits her teeth and throws herself into the rough edge of a building, checks the scrapes. She hops into a pawn shop and sells her blaster for a [NUMBER] hundred credits. Picks up a small amount of [STREET NAME OF DRUG] and dumps most of it into the gutter.

Stopped by big guys who obviously want to have their way with her. She asks them if they have any more [drug], and they say no, that’s not their game. They’re insistent, so she says sure, she’s game. They’re all vaccinated for [ALIEN DISEASE], right? Looks of shock. Er. No. And. Have to go now. Jyi picks their pockets, finds a small knife and a roll of credits. Carries on.

Slips into [TYPE OF BIRD]’s apartment building, tries the doorknob, and starts to pry the keypad off with the knife when it opens and [bird] is right there. He barely recognizes her, invites her in. He’s carrying a gun, doesn’t put it down. She asks if he has any [ALIEN DRINK NAME], but all he has is Malt. Discuss where she’s been. Laying low, trying to stay off the radar because people started disappearing all around her.

[bird] said he was worried about her. Thought they had something special. Remember that time at the top of [LAST NAME] tree, when the elevator shut down and the two of them were stuck up there, alone, with only a bag of [drug] between them and no food?

What’s she doing now? Who’s she working for? No one. Admits she’s a bit behind on things, trying to score a hit of [drug] if she can. That’s why she was trying to get into his place: he always had a stash underneath the sofa. He doesn’t anymore. Scarce commodity now, and you usually have to use it on-location. Nobody wants to risk resale. Dilutes the brand. What brand? Come and see.

Takes her to [NAME OF CLUB], slips in the back door, and stopped by a guard. Notes Jyi’s eyes. Checks names on the list. [bird] is good, and Jyi… Jyi is on the list too. Go in, see the action, the tweakers everywhere, the crazy live band called [BAND NAME], and a second later, Jyi has a gun to her head. Wait, says [bird], she’s on the list! Yeah, says the guard. But a DIFFERENT list: the traitor list.

DA DA DAAAAH!! This outline follows the actual chapter more closely than the previous one, I feel. And yet another cliffhanger! Clearly MCM is trying to drive us mad. I’ve my fingers crossed everything works out alright for Jyi as this chapter has made her my favourite character.

(Jan 5.24 am PDT)

We all woke up at the same time more or less, so that was fun. I didn’t get enough sleep, but MCM even got less, so I shouldn’t complain. I have coffee, and I made it extra, extra strong so I should be able to survive the day. My finger really hurts like crazy today. It’s strange because there’s nothing to be seen and I can move it just fine. But boy does it hurt.

I really liked these two chapters. I was counting on Anna not finding them snappy enough, but apparantly she likes them just fine. I on the other hand, have always liked some more elaborate prose, so I really like the longer chapters.

As for Jyi,I agree with Anna she can be a bit insensitive. As for Aphid, I’m SOOOOO relieved it was my LIFE that got picked. Really people, I don’t like to threaten, but killing off Aphid really is very much NOT DONE. I still haven’t forgoven Lyn for the no-sex disaster in the first 3D1D Typhoon, imagine how unforgiving and coming after you with a vengeance I will be if you kill of one of my favorite characters.

Though I have to admit Aphid is slightly less funny this time around, but she makes it up in endearingness.

On the the next chapter, which MCM has just posted. Weeehee!